since i first learned the value of money, i became a fiend for new, materialistic things. i would always look for bargains and buy the most interesting objects, or as i called them in my youth, the "coolest" new things. i am one of the most masculine men on the face of this great planet. i am in a class with the likes of Teddy Roosevelt, Walt Disney, Sir Francis Drake, and a man simply known by the moniker Ike. due to this previously established fact, my joy of shopping has no homosexual roots, even though today many people who enjoy being frugal are labeled as "gay". i am not. repeat: i am not gay. i have nothing wrong with homosexuals and their obscene ways, as long as i am not bothered or asked to take part in their ritualistic ceremonies. i believe that every man should execute his god given free will, and if a man prefers to lie with another man, then so be it; i prefer women, they're much less hairy. recently i have found EBay, to be the pride of my life. i am proud to call myself a bargain shopper, and EBay is my alley of bargain hunting. as Teddy Roosevelt hunted big game in Africa, i poach for great savings on EBay. recently i have gotten a sickness, and i have trouble refraining from buying quality denim (among other things) on this EBay. i recently won a pair of jeans, which after i had finished the bidding, decided i didnt want. the jeans retail for around $200, and i won them for around $25, but i decided that they just were not right for me. i have often been labeled as "sheistier than a Jew", for a can squeeze my way out of any sticky monetary situation. this is true, in fact, and recently i displayed such Jew-like cunning on EBay. i go by the name VRCOUNS, my opponent, JJKRENTS. i kindly asked my foe if the denim had ever been washed, the following is a detailed display of the emails which transpired after i decided i did not want the denim jeans i had won:
Dear vrcouns,
They have been washed, but not by me (I bought them used on eBay myself). The color is a faded dark indigo, the pictures are pretty accurate. I will let you out of this, if you don't want the jeans, though I will be charged for the listing.
- jjkrents
- jjkrents
jjkrents--Hello- How did you make this mistake? Your bid has been there for several days if I'm not mistaken, and now the auction is over. Please clarify so I can consider, thanks
Dear jjkrents,
i did not realize that these jeans are lowcut and i don't think they will fit me correctly. please can i not purchase these jeans at this time. my sister passed away last night and i do not think I'm in a fit state to worry about a pair of jeans fitting. if at all passable, can i not purchase these jeans from you at this time.
thanks,
vrcouns
Dear vrcouns,
Hi- Of course, don't worry about the jeans or the auction. Sorry for your loss.
- jjkrents
- jjkrents
Dear jjkrents,
thank you so much for your kindness, it is greatly appreciated. i am sorry, but i just do not feel able to worry about such trivial things now as a pair of pants. if in any way i can help you ( good feedback etc.) after my situation becomes a bit better, i will do whatever i can. once again, thank you for being so understanding.
sincerely,
vrcouns
an in depth analysis of this period in my shopping career will accompany this posting in the near future. for now, here is an accurate recreation of the EBay posting:
--A.P.C. mint selvage dark indigo straight leg jeans. I bought these on eBay, tried them on in my living room once, and found that they don't fit me like I'd hoped.
The actual measurement: W31-L28.5, the rise 11 inches, the thigh 12 inches, the leg opening 7.5 inches.
The condition: the pair is in great condition and the denim is raw heavy dark indigo denim. Redline selvedges, the low rise 5 button fly. the style is classic straight leg. A.P.C. dark indigo denim straight leg jeans! A great dark indigo straight jean, which is unfortunately too small for me these days.
